Sex exercises for women

Skipping 

If you’re stressed the last thing you want is sex. Doing cardio-based activities will pump you full of endorphins and improve your mood though. In turn this will make you want it more and will give your sex drive a boost.

Method: wear a sports bra, aim for about 70-80 skips a minute at first. To tone your abs do a running skip by bringing your knees up in a high march as you jump, alternating each leg between skips. 

Upavistha Konasana

Are you satisfied in bed? Most women aren’t. If you want to orgasm more then you should try and increase the blood flow to the pelvis with this fab yoga move.

Method: Sit on the floor with your legs wide. Keep your toes and knees pointing straight up.  Lean your upper body forward as far as it goes comfortably. Hold for five to 10 deep breaths.

 The plank

Is this another exotic position? Nope. Fact is most women hate crazy positions because for most of us our bodies jiggle and wiggle involuntarily.  The plank, though, helps tone up these wobbly areas and makes you more confident trying new things in bed.  

Method: lie face down, push up and hold your body off the ground using your toes and forearms for support. Keep your back straight. Hold for 30-60 seconds and do daily.

Pelvic floor muscles

They don’t sound pretty, but pelvic floor exercises are worth doing. Doing pelvic floor exercises regularly will make you more sensitive and they can give you stronger orgasms. Plus you can do them anywhere – at your desk, on the bus, in the shower.

Method: imagine you are urinating and then try to stop the flow. Repeat this hold, squeeze, and release cycle 10 times. Try to hold each for 10 seconds.

Bow bend

We’ve all seen that insanely good yoga whizz and we’ve all probably had the same thought: I bet they’re great in bed. Getting more flexible will enable you to do more positions and allow for deeper penetration, which will make sex better for both you and your guy.

Method: lie on your stomach and take your heels as close to your butt as you can, then take your hands behind and hold your ankles. Keep your knees hip width apart. 

Sex exercises for men

Hip Lunges

Every man must learn how to thrust, and thrust well. Hip lunges work the hips and will give you the perfect power force you need to please your girl.

Method: Place one foot forward, so that your feet are about a metre apart and your knees are slightly bent. Push your pelvis forward. Hold this position for 30 seconds making sure you feel a stretch.

Interval running

If the flesh around your pubic bone is padded with too much fat it will make your penis look smaller and make it more difficult to penetrate your girl deeply.

Method: find a hill and sprint up it, then walk back down for recovery. Beginners aim for 10 x 45 seconds uphill running whilst advanced runners should aim for 15 to 20 x 60 seconds uphill running.

 Kegels

Did you think kegels were just for the girls? Think again boys. Kegels can make you last longer, be harder and they give you more control over your ejaculations.  

Method: imagine you are urinating and then try to stop the flow. Repeat this squeeze, hold, release cycle 10 times, trying to hold for 10 seconds per squeeze. 

Upper body workout

Has your girl ever complained that you’re squashing her when you’re in bed? If so, it’s probably time you worked on your upper body strength.

Method: to build strength in your upper arms do several sets of different exercises. A good group to try is: 12 x tricep dips, 12 x box press-ups and 12 x pull-ups. Repeat this three times.

Football

Love the beautiful game? So does your libido. Football boosts testosterone levels, which in turn gives your sex drive a boost.

Method: we don’t need to tell you how to play football, but one tip we do have is to try and play in front of your home crowd. Research has found men’s testosterone is higher for home games.

Also read: Five shocking sex facts

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Content courtesy: Realbuzz.com

Sara and John have been married for five years and are deeply in love. However, whenever they have sexual activity they always end up arguing. If John touches Sara’s waist, she pushes his hand away and tells him not to touch her fat. Sara prefers to keep her shirt on, even if the lights are off, and she always tells John to keep his eyes closed.  John constantly tells Sara she is beautiful and how much he is attracted to her, but it never seems to help the situation and alleviate her anxiety.  

Today, it’s hard to feel beautiful, and for many women feeling beautiful and feeling sexy go hand-in-hand. The culture we live in makes it difficult for women to feel adequate physically, as everywhere you look—the movies, magazines, billboards- there are images of women that are unrealistic to attain. In many cases the images are photoshopped to make the woman’s body look even more ‘perfected’ than it does in reality, but the knowledge that it’s photoshopped doesn’t curtail its dramatic impact.  Consequently, many women walk around with a negative body image and feel like they aren’t perfect enough to be beautiful and for many, this translates into insecurity in the bedroom.

What Does Body Image Have To Do With Sex?

Body image is essentially the way you view your body; self-image is the way you view yourself as a person. For many women, the two go hand-in-hand and easily feed off of each other. A woman could be super accomplished professionally, have many friends, be in a committed healthy relationship with a man who finds her attractive; yet, she sees herself as not good enough because her stomach seems too flabby to her. Or she doesn’t like her nose. Or thinks her hips are too big.  In other words, her belief of ‘my body isn’t good enough’ becomes ‘I am not good enough’; it’s almost as if nothing else about her matters.

 A healthy body image is one where you have a sense of acceptance with your body, you don’t measure your self-worth based on your body, and most of all, and you can feel comfortable in your own skin.  When a woman looks at her body and only sees flaws, she may not only feel bad about her physical identity, but about the kind of happiness she deserves in life, e.g. whether she is worthy of being loved by a partner.

A strong component of sexual satisfaction is being comfortable in one’s skin. If a woman is convinced that she is unattractive, it will be difficult for her to present and she will not be able to fully enjoy the sexual experience. Moreover, she may feel inhibited in having sexual needs. She may think to herself, ‘How can I seek or experience pleasure when I look like this?’  She may be passive and focus on her partner’s pleasure instead of her own, and she may be hesitant to initiate sexual activity.  

As seen in the above case of Sara and John, Sara was unwilling to be fully naked with John and it clearly was affecting their sexual dynamics. Sara evidently viewed her body with disgust, and her unwillingness to be relaxed with John is a manifestation of her conviction that he would be disgusted too.  Obviously that thought is divorced from reality, as John always told her how much he was into her, but that wasn’t enough to challenge her deep-seeded feelings of inadequacy.  

What Can I Do To Improve My Body Image?

If you find it hard to drop your conditions for considering yourself beautiful and sexy, try to pretend for a moment that you’ve already met those conditions and you are perfect exactly the way you are. Bask in that confidence and the permission to feel comfortable with your body just the way it is. Does it feel wrong? Unjustified? Arrogant?

 See what comes up for you. For some women, doing this exercise allows them to identify messages about their body that they received from family members, relationship partners, or society in general. It can help clarify personal core beliefs about what is beautiful, sexy, and who decides. And most importantly, it is a powerful reminder that negative body beliefs can shift when you are willing to challenge your mind-set and the mirror.

Try this exercise:  Stand in front of the mirror (or if you’re not comfortable with that, sit in a comfortable position). Pick a body part you don’t like and try to think for a few moments about positive things about that body part. For example; if you don’t like your butt, concentrate on thinking about positive things your butt does for you, such as providing a cushion to sit.  Focus on that feeling of gratitude and remind yourself that you are more than just your body.

Developing a healthy body image is no easy feat, but if you can practice gentleness with yourself and surround yourself with positive messages, you will become more comfortable in your own skin. 

The ‘sex superbug’ is called H041 and was first discovered in Japan in 2011. It spread to Hawaii, and has even surfaced in California and Norway, the Mail said. Experts have raised an alarm by claiming that this superbug has the potential to cause an AIDS-like pandemic and the threat needs to be nipped in the bug as soon as possible. One of the reasons that HIV/AIDS become such a global disease was because of laxity on part of the authorities who didn’t believe it was a disease to be taken seriously enough and it took the medical community a long time to come to terms with the sheer destructive capacity of the disease. There have no deaths from HO41 (what the strain’s being called) yet.

Experts have warned that the bacteria’s effects could match those of AIDS.‘ This might be a lot worse than AIDS in the short run because the bacteria is more aggressive and will affect more people quickly,’ said Alan Christianson, a doctor of naturopathic medicine.

Even though nearly 30 million people have died from AIDS related causes worldwide, Christianson believes the effect of the gonorrhoea bacteria is more direct, ‘CNBC News’ reported. ‘Getting gonorrhoea from this strain might put someone into septic shock and death in a matter of days. This is very dangerous,’ Christianson said.

‘It’s an emergency situation. As time moves on, it’s getting more hazardous,’ said William Smith, executive director of the National Coalition of STD Directors. This gonorrhoea strain, HO41, was discovered in Japan two years ago in a 31-year-old female sex worker who had been screened in 2009.

 Why we should be worried?

Randy Shilts’ investigative book And the Band Played On portrays the early days of the HIV/AIDS epidemic and the lack of response to it from either the medical community or the authorities. When the disease first emerged, it was believed that the disease was a curse for people who actually deserved it like homosexuals or intravenous drug users. It wasn’t until people like Ryan White (a boy who got HIV through blood transfusion) and other prominent HIV-infected people like Magic Johnson and Arthur Ashe were diagnosed with the disease that public perception about it changed. Many experts believe that this sluggishness to deal with the disease led to the spread of the disease which has claimed 30 million lives till 2009 and it must be prevented in all future scenarios. 

Talking to your kids about the birds and the bees is a task most Indian parents may cringe doing. If you are also one amongst them, you should know that it is highly important that your little ones learn about it from you instead of other sources like the media or friends of the same age or pornography. Not only is there a chance that they get wrongly informed; but not being able to share their doubts with you creates an impression that it is a bad thing and should be spoken about only behind closed doors. While it may be a task you wish to avoid, it is essential for them to learn about it. Our sexual health experts Dr Vijayasarathi Ramanathan, Rachel Hercman and Dr Paul Joannides explain the importance of imparting sex education by parents to their kids.

How and when to talk about sex?

So what is the right age to talk to your children about sex? Dr Ramanathan explains that sex education is not just about intercourse. It is also important for children to be aware of their genitals and the importance of intimacy. According to him, when children are 3-4 they start asking questions about their genitals. It’s important that parents answer these questions to the best of their abilities rather than shooing them away. ‘A boy may ask about his genital organ (penis) and why a girl doesn’t have it? Remember, this is just out of curiosity to learn about the difference in body parts. Some adults may interpret this through their adult mind and come to a judgment that the child is sexual at a very early age and may even go the extent of punishing the kid. Remember, it is very normal for kids to ask questions about body parts.’

Tackling questions like these may seem daunting but having a friendly approach will go a long way. Let your kids know that you are open to such questions and you are there to solve any doubts they may have on this topic. Dr Paul provides inputs from his book Guide To Getting It On about how parents can tackle these questions. ‘If a child under the age of five asks, ‘Where do babies come from?’ It’s fine to say that the baby grows in mommy’s uterus and point to your abdomen. But note that that you will be giving a very different answer about intercourse when he or she is 10 or 15. Just because you answered a question when your child was five doesn’t mean you won’t be answering the same question every couple of years, but each time in a slightly different way.’

Dr Ramanathan gives some useful tips to parents:

• Parents could start with very simple topics such as body parts and may be use colloquial terms for male and female genitals. However, sooner than later, it is important to introduce the right terms, for example, ‘penis’ for a boy’s organ and ‘vagina’ for a girl’s.
• Another important topic would be ‘touching genitals’ and when it is appropriate to do so and when is it not. For example, kids could be told that it is okay to touch their genitals when they are in the shower but not in front of others.
• How babies are formed is another favourite question that kids want to ask. Parent could explain something like mummy and daddy had a special cuddle and the baby was formed. While this is fine for a young kid, parents could be a bit more specific for a much older kid/adolescent.
• More importantly, kids should be taught about protecting themselves from others touching their genitals and should be told that they should immediately inform their parents if something like that happens. 

When your kids hit puberty

Puberty can be such a confusing time for a child and it can very frightening if they haven’t been taught about what their body is going through and why. A parent has the potential to ease that anxiety and confusion by being empathetic and if they feel comfortable, even sharing their own experiences with hitting puberty. 

Says Rachel Hercman, ‘A lot of the information about sex that is found in the media is inaccurate, unrealistic, or lacks the proper context to understand sex. When a parent teaches a child about sex, it’s not just about sex itself, it’s also about the values and ethics that come with it.  Things like sex being consensual, that it should be fun, that it’s healthy to have sexual needs—these are important concepts that don’t necessarily come through in the media. Hence the parents play an integral role in discussing sex before the media teaches it to the child differently.’

Your reaction says it all

Lastly, in order for parents to be more open about it, they themselves need to be comfortable with the idea of sex. ‘We send many non-verbal messages, often without realising it, and if a parent is not comfortable talking about sex then the child will get that message regardless of how young he/she is. In cases where the subliminal message is – we don’t talk about that dirty thing – the child probably will never bring it up, or if they do, they will learn from mom/dad’s reaction to never broach it again,’ adds Rachel.

If you fear that educating your child about sex would make them promiscuous, you are very wrong. Research has shown that sex education makes children and adolescents more informed, responsible and safe. So stop being shy and talk to your children, so that they grow to be sexually responsible individuals, capable of making their own decisions.

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Q: Are drugs for sex like Viagra, Manforce, Pengra, etc. harmful for my future sex life? I am a 27-year-old man. During sex I take these medicines which help me last longer. Are these harmful for my body and for my future sex life?

 Ans: All the different tablets mentioned here have the same chemical composition – Manforce and Pengra are actually the desi versions of Viagra, which in turn is the brand name of the generic drug sildenafil. In countries like the US or UK, the drug is only available through prescription but lax laws in India means that it can be easily purchased over-the-counter. One thing you’ve to clearly understand is that Viagra is a drug to beat erectile dysfunction and it’s not an aphrodisiac or libido booster. In simple words, it will only give you an erect penis when you’re aroused. Now the drug is most commonly used by people in their 50s and 60s, those at an age where there heart finds it hard to pump enough blood to the penis to maintain an erection. 

However, recent studies have shown that the recreational use of Viagra has gone up among youngsters. Most doctors recommend that the drug shouldn’t be used like this because one’s body can get dependent on it and you could reach a phase where you will find it hard to get hard without the drug. There are other harmful effects as well. You shouldn’t take the drug if you are taking other medicines which contain nitrates. These are usually used to treat chest pain, hypertension and other such ailments. Some of the other common side-effects are facial flushing, headaches, liver problems, heart attacks (rarely), blurred vision, bluish vision and sensitivity to light.

The most infamous side-effect though is erections which last for four or more hours. Sometimes these erections can be extremely painful as well. If you experience that you should call a physician and visit a hospital immediately. In conclusion you should definitely stop using these drugs; they are not for recreational use or to show off your sexual prowess but an aid for men really suffering from a problem.

 ‘I learnt that I was asexual by watching a TV programme one evening,’ Julien, a computer engineer from central France who would only give his first name, told AFP over the phone. Before that, ‘I didn’t feel normal, and so I completely suppressed it,’ he said, adding he had had a girlfriend with whom he had sexual intercourse, but only to please her rather than himself.

It was not until he discovered asexuality existed that he started consulting specialist web forums. That led to him meeting an asexual girl with whom he is now in a happy, sexless relationship. Asexuality is still largely misunderstood, particularly in countries where sex is splashed all over magazines, films and on television, and very few studies have been done on the subject.

Paul, vice president of the Association for Asexual Visibility (AVA) which is organising the awareness day, explained that it is different to abstinence. ‘Society presents sex as something that is obligatory… What is of concern to us is that absence of sexuality or desire be considered as a disorder, a lack of freedom, due to psychological factors or a strict education,’ he told AFP.

‘Asexuality is a form of sexuality. It belongs to the diversity of human sexuality and it’s way more important to recognise its existence and validity than to try and criticise.’ On one popular web forum on the subject, desperate, confused, sympathetic and positive comments abound from asexuals. ‘I had buried my emotions for many years due to almost inexistent desire,’ says one man on www.asexuality.org, who only identifies himself as ‘Empatic’ from the southern city of Lyon.

 ‘I met a woman around five months ago, and I fell in love… But there is no sexual desire and I can feel she is distancing herself even though it is hard for her as she loves me deeply. What suffering. I cry with rage.’

 According to Paul, many asexuals get into relationships with other asexuals — like Julien — or fall in love with so-called ‘sexuals’, in which case it can be difficult. Some of these couples end up having open relationships. Pioneer sexologist Alfred Kinsey touched upon asexuality in the late 1940s when he created a scale where zero was exclusive heterosexuality and seven exclusive homosexuality. Asexuals, though, were classed in a separate, ‘X’ category, and Kinsey found that a larger proportion of women were asexual than men. After that, studies on the subjects went quiet until Anthony Bogaert, a professor at Brock University in Canada, published an extensive study on the issue in 2004, suggesting around one percent of the population was asexual.

Since then, the author of ‘Understanding Asexuality’ has published other studies on the subject, as have others. ‘There is more evidence of pre-natal hormonal influences having some sort of permanent effect that makes one more pre-disposed to being asexual or heterosexual or gay than there is for having atypical levels of hormones in adulthood,’ he said.

 After years of studying the subject, Bogaert says asexuals can have a tough time finding their place in society. ‘There is some evidence that gay and lesbian people are viewed more positively by average heterosexual people than asexual people,’ he said. ‘But it’s probably also the case that average asexual people can stay in the closet more comfortably than average gay and lesbian people.’ The term started entering the mainstream at the beginning of the noughties, with the emergence of the Internet, which made it easier for asexuals to find each other and exchange experiences. It has since gathered strength, and since 2010, an international asexual awareness week has been organised every year, with educational projects taking place in several countries such as the United States.

 But this is the first time that a special day for asexuality has been organised in France, although AVA says it will be low-key.

What is gonorrhoea?

Gonorrhoea is a bacterial infection that is transmitted by sexual contact with an infected person. Caused by an organism known as Neisseriagonorrheae, the disease can be transmitted by contact with body fluids as well. The organism multiplies well in warm and moist parts of the reproductive tract like the vagina, uterus, cervix, Fallopian tubes, and urethra of both men and women. It is also known to grow in the mouth, throat, eyes and anus.  

How is it transmitted?

A person who is sexually active and has multiple sexual partners are most prone to this condition. The CDC recently estimated that approximately 19 million people get infected with gonorrhoea every year*. The bacterium is transmitted by sexual contact with a person who already has the disease. Sexual contact includes penetrative sex, oral sex or anal sex. The infection can even get transmitted from one partner to the other by a mere exchange of body fluids. It also can infect a new born born to a mother suffering from the condition during child birth.

Symptoms

Gonorrhoea is one of the most under-diagnosed STDs. In most cases people don’t have any perceivable symptoms, but the most common amongst men is to have severe burning sensation while passing urine, and in most cases they will notice a whitish or greenish discharge from the penis. In some cases they may also experience painful and swollen testis. Men will usually notice these symptoms one to 14 days after being infected.

In the case of women the symptoms are usually milder and are most often confused with a urinary tract  infection or a vaginal infection. The most common symptoms in women are – experiencing a burning sensation while passing urine, increased amounts of vaginal discharge, and vaginal bleeding between periods.

Apart from the above symptoms, in cases of gonorrheal infection of the anus both men and women are likely to experience symptoms such as anal discharge, itching in the anal mouth, soreness, bleeding or painful bowel movements.

In the case of gonorrhea of the throat, the person may experience soreness of the throat.

Diagnosis

The diagnosis of gonorrhoea is usually a very simple procedure. Usually a urine sample should suffice to diagnose the condition. In cases where a person has had oral or anal sex, the technician will either take a throat or anal swab. If the doctor suspects that a patient is suffering from uterine or urethral gonorrhea, he may advise the technician to take a swab sample from either the urethra in the case of men and the cervical opening in the case of women.

Treatment

A doctor will treat gonorrhoea with a number of antibiotics like doxycycline and cephalosporin. These drugs are to not to be shared with anyone else and it is important that a patient completes the entire course of treatment. Leaving the medical regime incomplete could lead to antibiotic resistance.  

Although antibiotics are the most effective against this organism, a new cephalosporin-resistant strain of the bacterium has emerged. Since the discovery of this form of the bacterium, a number of governments have altered their antibiotic regimen.

In some cases a person may suffer from a chlamydia infection along with gonorrhoea, in such a case a doctor may prescribe medicines for both conditions at the same time. While being treated for gonorrhoea the regimen could vary from a single dose of antibiotics to a long term regimen.

Complications

Untreated gonorrhea can cause severe and sometimes life threatening complications in both men and women.

In the case of women, they may develop a condition called PID or Pelvic Inflammatory Disease. This occurs when the infection travels to the uterus and Fallopian tubes. The symptoms usually include severe pain in the uterus and several complications like the formation of internal abscesses, this is an extremely complicated and difficult condition to treat. It causes the formation of pus filled  abscess within the uterus. Another condition is chronic pelvic pain, a very painful condition that is again very difficult to cure. PID in itself also increases the chances of a woman’s Fallopian tubes being severely damaged, which increases the risk of having an ectopic pregnancy or possibly  losing the ability to become a mother all together.

 In men untreated gonorrhoea could lead to a condition called epididymitis, which is an infection of the tubes that connect the testis to the penis. This infection wreaks havoc within the man’s body and could lead to infertility.

Another very severe complication of this disease is that it can spread throughout the entire body through the blood into the joints, skin or heart. This condition is also known as DGI or Disseminated gonococcal infection and could be life threatening if not treated promptly.

Preventive measures

The best prevention a person can take is to use a condom while having sex. Research has proved that condoms are the best device when it comes to protection from sexually transmitted diseases. Another way would be, to avoid having sex with multiple partners and to avoid sexual contact with unknown partners.

A person who has been diagnosed with gonorrhea should inform all their sexual partners to get tested for the same. People who have had the disease should not engage in sexual activity till they have completed their antibiotic course and are completely free of the symptoms. If a person’sprescribed treatment consists of a single dose of antibiotics, he/she should ideally wait for at least seven days before engaging in sexual activities.

Lastly, gonorrhoea is a condition that has the potential to make a person more susceptible to HIV and AIDS. So remember, prevention is always better than cure.

 * Statistic source: www.cdc.gov 

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Adam Galovan, an assistant professor at University of Missouri who carried out the study, said sharing responsibilities didn’t necessarily mean couples divided chores equally. ‘It could be taking turns changing nappies or one parent watching the children while the other prepares dinner. ‘Doing things together and having mutual, agreed-upon divisions of labour benefitted both spouses.

‘The more wives perceived that husbands were engaged in routine family work tasks, the better the relationships were for both partners. ‘Wives in our study viewed father involvement and participation in household chores as related. Doing household chores and being engaged with the children seem to be important ways for husbands to connect with their wives, and that connection is related to better couple relationships.’ He added: ‘When wives felt their husbands were close to their children, both spouses reported better marriages. The father-child bond was particularly important for wives.’ The study was published in the Journal of Family Issues.

The findings of this study is likely to be lost on Indian men who’ve grown up only seeing women –their mothers, sisters, wives or maids – do the household chores but with shifting social paradigm and values men just might want to roll up their sleeves and help out to smooth over the cracks and keep their lives peaceful. 

Janeen Davidson of Beenleigh’s Yoga and More Studio said that having a hot shower cooled the body to an optimum temperature and enabled a person to sleep; she also called making love the ultimate relaxation.  She said that the yoga quietens the adrenal responses and cortisol responses and it’s a calm practice which brings a person’s mind to rest.  Ambarissa Stone of the Australian School of Meditation and Yoga Springwood, said that yoga really has three aspects – a person’s physical, mental and spiritual state.

She said that the first one is that yoga helps to ease tight muscles, increase strength mobility and balance the nervous system.  Stone asserted that it also helped mentally, saying that the mind is most often what keeps people awake at night and during yoga it helped them to deepen their breath, which in turn helped them slow down the mind.

She added that yoga also helped spiritually and true yoga practise always included an element of meditation.

Standing sex

The standing sex position is less common than the ones we have discussed till now and requires a certain degree of athleticism and strength especially from the male partner. It usually involves the female partner with her back against the wall using it as a support while the male partner enters her while supporting her body weight by holding her up. The female partner can either put one leg on the ground or wrap it around her partner’s hips but only if he’s strong enough to support her bodyweight.

Pros: It’s a great sex position for a quickie or if you want something lusty and passionate. Since the partners are face to face there’s kissing and greater chance of clitoral stimulation with all the different angles available. Also some angles will allow the male partner to penetrate more deeply than is possible during missionary or the other lying down positions.

Cons: This position needs a certain degree of confidence and it won’t happen unless you’re both passionate and/or into each other. Also unless the male partner is strong enough he will have trouble supporting his partner’s weight. All in all it can be a quite intimidating position for the male – he has to support his partner’s weight, thrust and give/have an orgasm at the same time. It isn’t a cakewalk for the female partner either who is always wondering if her partner will drop her.

All said and done the standing sex position is a rough sex position which isn’t for beginners but definitely worth the effort. 

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