People who feel secure in their relationship with their partner have a more satisfactory sex life and are more able to be sensitive in the affection they give, according to a new study.
However, people who are insecure, who tend towards anxiety or avoidance and are compulsive or controlling in their affection, experience more conflict in their sexual desire and are less happy in their relationships.
“Our results show that insecure people (anxious-ambivalent) tend to be compulsive in their care for their partners, while people prone to avoidance, tend to be controlling and to exhibit greater conflict in their sexual desire,” says Javier Gomez Zapiain, professor of the psychology of sexuality at the University of the Basque Country, Spain, who led the study, a varsity statement said.
Gomez Zapiain’s research group studied the level of conflict in people’s erotic desire, their degree of satisfaction with their sexual life and other factors related with sexual behaviour and care, based on a sample of 211 long-term couples in the Basque Country.
They distributed individual questionnaires at random among various groups of professionals from the education, healthcare, public services and private business sectors.
“The objective of this study was to study the relationship between three essential relationships in human conduct – sexual, affective and caring behaviour. We tried to obtain empirical evidence that harmony between these three systems contributes to the quality of a couple’s relationship,” said Gomez Zapiain.
The respondents were divided into two large groups according to their affective model – secure and insecure. The insecure people were then subdivided into anxious and ambivalent types.
“Anxious people react by clinging to their partner and caring for them compulsively, while avoidant types react by evading their relationship. Their philosophy is that ‘it’s better not to have than to have and to lose’. These people also have more problems in the area of intimacy,” he added.