Just when I started enjoying my vacation,it hit me that the exam results were on the horizon. All my happiness was gone and all I could feel was anxiety about the exam results.
We all try very hard to make something come true, to achieve something for ourselves and for others. Exams are one such step towards our achievement. It is a test of fire. Passing or failing these exams makes us feel positively or negatively about ourselves. It affects our confidence. Most of us also worry about how others, especially family and close ones, might react to our results. A good exam result has become something to brag about to our friends and relatives. A bad one is seen as the end of our academic careers.
Having failed several times myself, this is what I have to say about exams and results. People around you might tell you to relax and not worry, trying their best to comfort you but you are the one who will have to believe in yourself.
Henry Ford, Bill Gates, Walt Disney, Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, Sachin Tendulkar- all these people have had a real tough times with their academics. What makes them successful? It is their determination and belief in their own abilities.
Identify stress symptoms -
- If you are falling sick very often without any reason
- If you constantly keep worrying about your results
- If you feel afraid when someone talks about your future
- If you isolate yourself from your friends
If the aforementioned symptoms last for a long period, please consider visiting a counsellor or a psychologist.
Think about this before you make up your mind about feeling like a failure -
- For starters, what’s done is done. Accept that you have taken your exams and you cannot go back in time. You will get several other chances to prove yourself and succeed.
- Know your strengths and believe in them. You are bigger than any of the events happening in your life certainly bigger than something as mundane as an exam result.
- Although parents and close ones may shout at you, they care more about you than about your results. At the end of the day, YOU are the most important thing in their lives; not your marks.
- Persevere! Everyone gets somewhere in life. That is, only if you don’t give up right now. Ask your local shopkeeper or a someone else you know about their road to success. You can be sure their exam results didn’t play a big part. Keep the faith.
While you wait…
- Keep on with your life. Don’t miss out on happy moments worrying about something that you cannot predict.
- You can consider taking up hobbies and doing things that you love to do.
- Learn something new that has always caught your interest.
- Outings, trips and excursions help you get away from stressful environments.
- Enjoy little moments with family and friends.
- If you have just taken your SSC or HSC Boards, you can consider career options for yourself and even discuss them with your family and friends. Career counselling helps if you are confused with figuring those out.
This is what you can consider to keep yourself from going over the edge:
- Breathe – When you hear about results and fear starts to take over, sit down and breathe deeply. Have a sip of cold water.
- Talk to yourself to relax – Talk as if you would talk to a 2 year old, in a sweet and lovable manner. “OK! Calm down…you’ll be alright.” – is one of the things you can tell yourself.
- Talk to your friends – Sharing defuses fear. Even if all of you might be sailing in the same boat, talking about how you feel might make you feel better. Some of us can confide in our parents. If the feeling of fear and sadness lasts longer, please consider talking to a counselor. It will not only help you lighten your head but also give you clarity about where you want to head in life.
- Write it down – The Jab We Met technique of writing your fears down on paper and then burning and flushing it.
- Face your fears and then let them go. Accept that you are afraid. Sometimes, crying your fears out also helps. Empty your mind and then you will be able to fill your mind with positive thoughts.
- This too shall pass – Although today seems very tough, 10 years down the line, you will look back and smile at this day. Ask seniors or elders who have been in your position about their experience.
For the parents
- Your child is special purely because he/she is your child.
- You may have expectations from your child but realize and accept that your child is not you.
- Your child is more important than what he/she does or achieves.
- What people might think or say is less important than how your child feels. Often, these wagging tongues would not even be around when you really need them.
- Think about going to a counsellor or psychologist if you feel your child is stressed or even if you don’t know how to help your child.
- Remember, your opinions are most important for your child. Your child is more likely to succeed in life if you accept him/her.
After the results are declared
- Talk your mind out. Talk to people who make you are comfortable – family, friends or a counsellor.
- There are more than 800 career options available today. There is no reason you have to tread the conventional road.
- You are precious. Hurting yourself in any way will just hurt your close ones- not to mention that it wouldn’t solve anything.
- Pray, focus on good things and move forward. If you have the will, you will make your way!
First Published: Jun 12, 2012 at 10:32 AM